Men should have to suffer too!

So a few days ago I went in to get my birth control replaced and while the one I'm getting and currently have works I think next time I will face my fears and get a different kind. Pills are out for me which is why I got the Implanon. It's a great form of birth control but my experience in the process of taking it out may have just scared me away from it.

So first they have to numb you up and then cut into your arm. I didn't feel any of the cutting which was great but it took half an hour and THREE doctors before they were able to pull the thing out. It was a very disturbing experience with all the pulling and people all around me. They did finally get it out and they put in a newer shorter one which tool only a few seconds to put in but the whole taking it out thing was pretty scary.

Men are lucky. they don't have to get pap smears and all that stuff. they only have two forms of birth control and we all know condoms don't always work and the other form means no kids ever. Men should have to get birth control. They need to come up with some form of it so that us women do not have to be the only ones worrying about it.

It's just crazy the things that we have to do as apposed to men. I think the playing field needs to be evened out a bit haha

Well that's all for now!

Ready to hit someone

I have nowhere else to vent without causing major drama so I am going to do it here.

My brother is about to get his ass kicked.

My dad, after dropping off my mom at the bus station to go help my friend Amy through her labor went straight to the ER where he was admitted and the next day he had surgery to remove a kidney stone. The stone they got out was 4mm which is huge!

My brother got mad at my dad because he did not drive all the way home to let my brother drive him to the er. my dad was just blocks from the hospital and a 20 minuet drive away from home.

Since my dad drove himself the car was left up at the hospital and I worked all day trying to find my brother a ride to get the car and to take some stuff my dad wanted up to the hospital only to find out for whatever fucking reason my brother saw no reason to get the car and was basically like 'fuck you he can just stay up there until I'm not busy'

Well thankfully my husband and my father in law were nice enough to take the stuff to my dad and the next day I found myself a ride to be up with my dad when he got out of surgery. We thought my brother would stop by his room when he had to go to the hospital for something but no. he came and went. I ended up driving my dad home which was scary but I did it, all the while he's in great pain and his only hope is to go home and take some pain killers he has.

He gets home only to be told that my brother 1 year old apparently got up in the morning while my brother was sleeping, got my dads pills off his desk, opened the child proof lock and then dumped all of them int he toilet. It's total crap and my brother has been in trouble for stealing his pills in the past and he had the balls to pass it off on his kid. That little girl would have put them in her mouth, not that she could have gotten the cap off.

Well Derek had to work today and i had him take my dad the money he needed to get the script that the hospital gave him filled and I call a while ago to find out that my brother took the car to work and left the van with no gas so my dad will have to wait till Monday to get his medication.

He is in so much pain he is crying. I was the only child willing to do anything to help and I don't know why my brother is being this way. He stole his pills and then prevented him from getting more. Family comes first, i don't care if you have to be a few minuets late you don't leave your father in that kind of pain!

Pi Zeta Mine?

Well Brian is out of the house and while Iw ould love to say he moved on to a better place with our help it is far from that.

He left before Christmas after promising to be there since he was not there for thanksgiving and he was supposed to return on the 4th. Well that did not happen. He called after Christmas and told me that he was going to move in with his mom. The same mom that he spent his time here saying how he hated her and she treated him like crap. He is also moving back to a city that is pure filth. The town he BEGGED us to keep him out of.

This would not be so bad if not for the horrible text messages he sent me on new years day after I sent a text saying Happy New year. He sent be back a text saying how since I did not give him a parting hug when he came to pick up his stuff that he no longer wanted to speak to him. I must admit that I sent a few,3 short hotheaded texts back and he replied with 20 or more saying the meanest things I have ever been told. He said things about me and my husband and even my kids.

Several messages were clear threats and it has left me and my husband worried for our safety because this guy is a hothead as demonstrated by the hole he punched in our wall a few days ago because he thought some guy was coming out to fight him when really it was just my daughter coming home from school.

He claims that I'm many bad words because I 'talked back' to him over text and not in person. I'm damn proud of speaking up for myself at a safe distance because while he lived in my home he started to become very verbally abusive towards me and then told me all the fights were made up in my mind and got upset that I stopped wanting to forgive him.

So he is out. I no longer consider him a friend and other than very close family I do not think I will be allowing anymore roommates in my home. I have been burned twice by living with someone else and I won't let it happen again. I wanted so badly to help him and while I'm pissed at him and glad he's gone I still can't help but be worried about him.

He's not following the path he begged us to put him on so I guess only god, jail or rehab can help him now.

I should have kicked him out long ago. Sigh. It feels good to vent and I'm glad to know that he will not see this because I am sure I would get a very badly typed reply telling me how wrong I am about all of it. Lord the posts I could type about this guy.

But I'm going to end this here and I hope that those of you who do ready my posts had a happy new year and a Merry Christmas!

Chow!

FINALLY!!!!

I have now entered the 21st century and have REAL internet. No more stupid dialup or having to squint to see things on my phone. I feel like a real person now haha.

Dont really have much else to say at the moment except YAY!!!

Photos!

Well I meant to do this post a long while back but Blogger on my phone did not want to let me so I've had these photos sitting here in a draft for a long while and now that I have managed to get onto Blogger on my computer I'm going to edit and get this post out!

^^^^ This is a photo of what was left of our garden after a freak rain/hale storm. We lost a lot but a lot came back int he end

^^^ Everything was super flooded

^^ the girls decided to wrap stickers around their fingers. They had a blast

^^Flooding

^^ first time ever home alone without my kids and I caught myself on fire trying to make some cold coffee haha. it was a horrid burn

^^ My cute girls and puppys!

Pi Zeta Not Mine

I feel like I'm living in a frat house. My home has seemingly become one ever since a friend moved in. I would boot him out but he has no where to go and I love him to bits. Even still it's stressful and at times I feel as if my home is no longer my own.

It's been taken over by a loud, goofy pot head who stays up allllll night and drinks coffee 24/7 and then complains about being tired all the time. His view on things are never wrong, even when it comes to what women want. Apparently the fact that I am female dose not count. He wears too much guy smell good stuff and his antics are just insane.

I just wish he would grow up. Sure he's getting there but not anywhere near fast enough. I really should call him Flip-Flop because that's what he dose. He tells me he wants me to help him and we set up a plan but when it comes time to put that plan into action he puts me down and claims I'm trying to control him. It's frustrating and has led to two rather big fights.

My husband has said it's up to me weather he stays and while sometimes I just want him out I know that if I tell him to get out he will end up back in jail or dead.

I'm not sure how to really help him anymore. He says he can do it on his own but I don't see it. He's still doing drugs and spending him money on dumb shit and just dose not seem to care.

I know i'm painting him in kind of a bad light here but he's not all bad. My daughters love him and he keeps my home really clean. he's just totally different from my husband. It makes me love my hubby all the more.

Well i do feel better getting that all out. I just wish I knew how to help him without him blowing up on me when I try. He makes small progress but not what he needs to be making at his age.


Bleh.......

Till next time

Disasters

It just seems like everything in my life is one big fail right now.

I wanted to do book rivews but I can't get in the mood to read.

Our garden was finally doing amazing and then this storm hit and it hailed for over half an hour and it destroyed it all as well as flooded my garage and destroyed a ton of my things.

Our truck is still not working and the guy we bought it from could care less.

I just want something to go right. I'm tired of being constantly depressed and right now that's how everyday is for me and I have no distractions.

I just need things to get better.

Read and write

So I got an idea tonight. I love to read and though I have never written a book review it really can't be that hard.

What I plan to do is go through my current book collection and start reading and then write up reviews. I figuered it would be a good way to get in more blog posts.

It also helps that I'm a very fast reader.

So, while I will be picking from my own library I would love it if anyone that reads this blog would send me recommendations. 

Please note that I have a thing about reading books in order so I can't read a book that's in the middle of a series without reading the books that come before it. I'm the same way with TV and it drives my husband crazy.

So send me your titles and I will get to work.

Pepper Problems

So I have an addiction to jalapeno peppers with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon.

My problem with them is when I get one that us nothing but heat. Not even the flavor of the bacon comes through, just raw white heat. I hate it

It really just ruins it to wait forever for the things to cook only to get that raw heat. I eat them all anyway and always feel very fat after haha

Craigslist idiots

I have very little faith in mankind. If people can not read then what is this world coming to?
I've been trying to find homes for a litter of puppies we have and I am using Craigslist to do so. Its really starting to just be a load of stress.
I laid it all out in the post. I listed the breed, put up photos, put up all the info you could ever want and more. Sadly I have to tell people that info over and over and over.
Are they free? Yes. It says they are free not just in the title you clicked on but in the post.
What breed are they? This is also listed in both places.
Where are you located? Yet again. It is listed.
It is just crazy!!!! You have to scroll to the bottom of the post to get my contact info so why not just read a little before you call?
Sadly I still have a few pups left so I get to continue putting up with these people.
Bleh!!!!

Not happy happy happy

I'm not really sure I'm happy with my life lately. Everything just seems to be going wrong and just when I think they might be getting better something else happens.

My ex called me the other day. It would not be a big deal had he not been trying to take my daughter away from me the last time I spoke to him.

He called because of an ad I have up on Craigslist to find homes for the puppies we have. I know that he was not searching me out but it still bothers me that he now has my phone numbers and knows what city I live in.

It would be nice if life could just be simple for a while. I'm always angry or depressed and I really do hate it.

I could go on and on about the things that are bugging me but I'm not here to write you a book. I do feel a bit better writing some of this out though, even if it may be confusing to others.

Anti-Bullying Week

I only recently learned about this very special week and while I am
doing this post up for a friend I do know what it feels like to be
bullied and I know that this can come in many forms.

I have been bullied by family,friends and even total strangers and all
of it hurts. If you would not want it done to yourself then do not do
it to others.


I guess the easiest thing to do is to list examples of times and
people who have bullied me.


Kids in high school - This may seem like the big thing that everyone
talks about but it is where the bulk of this hurt goes down. I have
been through a lot in my life and at one point I had started cutting
myself. People told me I was just doing it to get noticed or they told
me how stupid I was for doing it. I knew it was stupid and I know that
now but in all honesty it dose not change a thing. I see an the news
how even in death Amanda Todd is bullied and I know just how she felt.
Sure things did not get as bad for me but they could have. High school
was pretty much hell for me. I eventually just stopped going to school
and though I am in school now I have yet to graduate.



Mother in law - This is a form of bullying that is still going on and
though I know she will not see it that way I do. The name calling, the
disrespect, the petty remarks, it's all bullying! If someone makes you
feel like crap every day they are being a bully.



Brothers and sisters- Now I have to say upfront that things with my
siblings are good at the moment and I love them to death but there has
been times where things have gotten bad. The hateful things my
siblings said about me at times had my parents wanting nothing to do
with me. Siblings fight yes but I still think of it as a form of
bullying.



Strangers- People call me fat, call me a bad mother, call me all sorts
of names for the way I look. So I have piercings, tattoos and love to
dye my hair wild colors. That dose not give every person on the street
the right to call me out on it. One remark can easily destroy a
person. Lucky for me they did not but it dose still hurt when I see
the disgusted looks people give me.


I feel all my examples are lame but I know that somewhere out there
there is someone that has gone through the same thing or worse and
talking about it is really the only way to take a stand.


Watch what you say out there. Do not type things you will regret when
others see it. I know that I need to take more of my own advice
because I rant about people I don't like on here all the time. There
is a time and a place. Everyone makes mistakes but it's what we do or
don't do about it. Not sure that made sense but I am about to fall
into a food coma after everything I ate today.

Home at last!

WEll we are finally in the new house and though I am stuck with crappy dial up and tones of laundry it is good to be home and out of the home of the monster-in-law. Things just kept getting worse there and I was glad when we were finally able to move out.

 

WE have been int he new place for a week now and it feels great to not be stuck in one room for fear of pissing someone off. I can happily run through my house screaming how much I hate my mother in law without making her mad. Hell I can watch tv or eat without her trying to start a fight so it's great!

 

I almost thought Iw ould not be able to post to my blog anymore thanks to my dialup being so slow but hopefully thanks to ScribeFire I will be able to start posting to my blog again. Not really sure just what I will say but atleast I know I can do it.

 

So lets home you guys are able to read this. Then again I have no clue if I will recive any comments or be abl to see them haha. Gotta work out all the bugs but I will figure it out

 

See ya ^.^

Lemons

They say life gives you lemons. I must have a whole damn farm of them and I'm sick of it. If it's not one thing it's another. First we get told we are getting into the house and then we don't. We don't have a running car, people are trying to kill themselves and i'm surrounded by so much anger that I can hardly breath.

I'm going to build myself a lemon cannon and start pegging people with the damn things. Screw making lemonade I'd rather enjoy shooting other people then drown in the amount of lemonade I could make right now.

Yes I know that there are better ways to handle my feelings but that one sounds too good to pass up. I am beyond threw with dealing with everything and I can only hope it ends soon and I can start being happy again

She won't stop!

I am really getting tired of all of this drama. Every day there is something there to upset me and though I try not to let it get to me it is really not something I can help.

The Monster-In-Law is really getting on my last nerve. She mimicked me yesterday! Like a fucking child and she did it thinking I would not hear her! What's even worse is she mimicked the fact that I was having trouble breathing.

I like next to a cotton field and am quite allergic to whatever the plat gives off this time of year. Couple that with a cold front pushing through it made my asthma act up bad so even trying to clean my stuffy nose caused me to be out of breath.

She decided she would mimic me as she walked down the hall. I am really sick of her crap. There is nothing I can do to make her happy and I am sick of trying. I can not wait until I am from under her thumb because once I know I am safe from getting hit I plan to tear her  new one.

Yes I know I should face her head on but I have two kids and they don't need their mother being seen with a black eye because their grandmother is a bitch.

Hopefully it will all get better soon. Crying yourself to sleep every night is no way to live.

It's really not.

It's something new every day and it's driving me up the wall. I don't cook right I don't clean right, I don't talk or dress right.

We actually had a pretty big fight not long back and she admitted to doing everything she cold to get me to leave. She has never liked that I am with her baby boy. I love my husband and that bitch can hit me with everything she has but she will not get me to leave the man of my dreams. She can just suck it!

Sadly I still find myself trying to make her happy if only to keep the peace. I need to stop being such a good person but I guess it's just the way I was brought up.

I'm done ranting. It makes my head hurt.

Until next time.

 

A is for Amy who I pushed down the stairs

Oh how I could make this title come true. There is a Amy in my life that I want to push down the stairs.

Shes the kind of girl that lures you in and then screws you over. Sadly I feel for her little act more than once and I hate myself for it.

She has everyone fooled and she gets away with so much crap. I could tell you all her dark little secrets but I'm honestly a much better person than that. One day she will get whats coming to her and when she dose I really hope it is an ordeal that she dose not survive.

At one point in time i was in a relationship with this girl. Well she cheated on me and didn't even have the guts to tell me or the guy she was with. She just started dating him and when I found out she acted as if we had never been together but oh how she loves to brag about having me as a gf. Yeah I know I'm amazing.

Sadly this is not where that story ends. See the guy she left me for had a best friend. She cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend and then left her boyfriend for the best friend. Though now she is with neither of them. Maybe it's for the best because boyfriend number one swore he was a werewolf and there was an 80% chance he would shift on a full moon and the other would constantly go on and on about being a century's old vampire. He even brought it up in fights, telling people he's had to deal with depression and such for hundreds of years. It was horrible.

Now shes with a kid that looks like he's 12 and a meth head. This poor girl will never learn and with the way she treats me I hope she gets all the hell life has to offer.

No I am not a mean person for bashing this girl. I am a hurt one. She has stolen from me, lies to me, bashed me (tried to fight me) and has even tried stealing my husband. She is no ones friend. -sigh-

It kind of felt good to get all of that out but trust me there is so much more I could say on the subject of Amy and perhaps in another post I will. I can tell you about how I beat the crap out of her and how she lied to everyone even though she was covered in bruises.

Until next time!

A penny for my thoughts? How about a $20?

I ever post on this blog anymore. I'm a bad blogger. Not really even sure who reads this site aside from my bestie. I guess juggling two blogs was a bit hard on me, then again keeping up with anything on a regular basis is hard for me.

I cant take pills on a schedule to save my life and I can ever stick to routine, though I love coming up with them. It's rather annoying but oh well

I have been watching "Awkward" and I guess all Jenna's blogging got me in the mood to do the same. No one I know in my personal life reads this blog so maybe it's Ok to bash the hell out of them here. Hummmm not really sure but I might just give it a try. After all I do love to right, even if I can never figure out what I want to say.

So here's to a fresh start. The next post on here should be quite interesting. I have lots of pent up frustrations and I think I will write them all out next time.

Till then!

READ ME!!

Would you nurse a child that was not your own?

I was surfing the web today when I came across an article that really made me think. Would you breastfeed a child that was not your own? I have to say that I would. Now I am not saying I am going to go around feeding other women's babies but if put in the situation Maria Kristensen was put in I know that I would do just as she did. She found this child in a bag on the side of the road. It was clear to her that the baby had been delivered that day, blood still on her head and the umbilical cord still attached. I have to say that the thought of someone leaving a child on the side of the road hurts. I  am sure the mother had her reasons and seeing as this happened in Denmark even more so but still, how could someone just do that to their child?

Where I read the story

I praise Maria for what she did. She was brave to not only make the cab she was in turn back but to take the child with her and do what she could to save the child.

So I guess we go back my question. Would you nurse a child that was not your own? Even if the situation were not like the one Maria face? Let me know and please check out the story.

Pink eye update!

Well I sadly now have it in both eyes. my biggest fear has come true. Thankfully my other eye is starting to heal and I have my mommy milk to thank for it. Hopefully I will have it pretty much knocked out before the weekend because this thing is no fun. And I have decided I will not post pics because I hate looking at myself with it haha. It's not pretty at all.

 

Pink eye :(

This totally sucks. Sarah, my youngest daughter has given me Pink Eye. I don't think she has it though I got it because her eyes are all gunked up. It always seems to happen to her after she is getting over being sick. I really hope she dose not get it because if she dose then she will have it in both eyes and right now I am desperately trying to prevent that from happening to myself.

Sleeping last night was hard. I never knew there were so many muscles in your eye. If I laid wrong or moved wrong it felt like I was pulling my eye out of it's socket and then when I finally made myself get up around 5am my eye was sealed shut and it took a wile to get it open.

Having no way to pay for or go see a doctor I am left to using OTC and at home remedies. I have some eye drops but they only help for a few minuets. So for I think what seems to be helping the most if Breast milk. Yes I know it may sound very strange but it seems to be helping some. My eye dose look worse today but after cleaning my eye with my milk as well as expressing it and pouring it into my eye I do not seem to be producing as much gunk which seems to be a good thing. It also helps with the pain.

I hope that after a few days it will start to clear up. I am also taking allergy pills since my father thinks that's part of what caused my pink eye. I hope it goes away before this weekend. I have so many things to do, though that will be for another post.

If anyone out there has any good at home fixes for Pinkeye please direct them my way. I heard tea bags can help but I'm not sure which kind I can use or is any kind will help. Right now my biggest problem is the swelling. My eye is nearly closed is so swollen. But yest, here's an update on me haha

BYE!

(( later I will post a pic of my eye. It's still early morning and dark out and since everyone is sleeping I cant get a good one haha))